We learn rather early in our lives that words deeply wound humans. Words said in anger or haste can crumble a heart, a spirit, a life. Years ago, an angry individual told me, “You will never do anything meaningful for God.” In those few words, this person unknowingly named my deepest fear. I long to be part of what God is doing in the world, the Church, in Christian leadership, and in lives. So, to be told I would never be part of God’s life-giving river wounded my sensitive heart. Those words rang around in my heart, cutting me short for too long.
Some time ago, in a quiet place with God, as I was breathing into my belly, I noticed a sharp pain through the center of my heart. I saw in my mind’s eye, an arrow shot through my heart’s organ, from front to back. Wounded. What is this? I wondered. And in a flash, into my awareness sprang that hurt-filled sentence, “You will never do anything meaningful for God.” For too long, I believed those words. I let those words damn me, limit me, and then in turn limit God in my life. In as little time as the sentence came to me, I was aware of a hard crust around the outer edges of my heart. I realized an outer crust, scar tissue, had formed around my heart.
Yet over time, that crust and those scars softened. This was my healing.
I believe healing can come in a second, and it may take several days or weeks for the mind to grow accustomed to the inner update or download. That is what happened that day. As soon as I was aware of my need for healing, the healing was completed. Now, I learn to walk in the newness of this download. I am no longer damned by the jealous hateful words said to limit me and try to keep me in a place that was not threatening to the speaker. No. There was no truth in those words then and there is no truth in those words now.
Our presence, our being – our mind, hearts, bodies – participates in the ongoing work of God on this earth. When God has a plan, and you and I desire to participate in that plan, God invites us to move into a place and process of healing. Sometimes the healing comes in a moment, sometimes the healing requires a “cast” to protect, some needed rest, and some therapy, but whatever way healing comes, may we allow ourselves to continually be renewed, released, and refreshed.
[Photo by Evan J.]